Category news
Colchester Institute Cuts Teaching Staff Pay to Fund AI Classrooms
In a groundbreaking move to catapult education into the future, Colchester Institute has announced a bold initiative to reduce teaching staff pay in order to finance state-of-the-art AI classrooms. The...
Development Boom in Brightlingsea: Housing Expansion Amid Pub Closures
In a controversial move that has stirred both excitement and concern among Brightlingsea residents, plans have been approved for the construction of 12,000 new homes across the town. This massive...
Jaywick Residents Shift Green: Farage Fallout Sparks Political U-Turn
A recent poll has revealed that one in four Jaywick residents are planning to vote for the Green Party in the upcoming 2024 UK general election. This dramatic shift comes...
Colchester's Ingenious Anti-Porch Piracy Tactic: Gnome Warfare on Parcel Thieves
In a quirky twist to combat the rising tide of porch piracy in Colchester, residents have found an unconventional ally – gnomes. With an uptick in sales of these whimsical...
Morrisons Daily in Jaywick Sells Woman Milk That's Due to Go Off the Next Day
In a shocking development, a woman in Jaywick, Essex, has bought milk from Morrisons Daily that was due to go off the next day. The woman, who has not been...
EasyJet Owner Takes Easy to a Whole New Level. Files Patent for the Word Itself, Sues UK Band for Using Name
EasyJet’s owner, easyGroup, is taking its name very seriously. The company has filed a patent for the word “easy” itself in the United Kingdom. The patent application covers a wide...
Keegan's Next Big Move: Banning Mobile Phones in RAAC-Safe Schools
In a puzzling turn of events, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan has announced her next groundbreaking initiative: banning mobile phones in schools that were not affected by RAAC-based concrete. While the...
Workplace Breakdown: Lazy Workers Cause Surge in Time-Off
As workplace absences hit a 10-year high, some anonymous managers are raising their eyebrows and shaking their heads at what they perceive as a lack of dedication from their employees....
Clacton Man Hoards Disposable Vapes in Fear of Ban
A man in Clacton, Essex, is reportedly stockpiling disposable vapes in fear of a ban on their sale. The man, who has not been named, has been seen buying dozens...
Wilko in Colchester to Close After Rescue Deal Falls Through
The Wilko store on St John’s Walk in Colchester is to close after a rescue deal fell through. The store was one of 300 Wilko stores nationwide that were put...
New Hello Kitty Cafe to Bring a Touch of Cuteness to Clacton
A new Hello Kitty Cafe is set to open in Clacton, Essex, England, on September 23, 2023. The cafe will be located in the heart of the town, on Station...
Cambrian Squid With Hat: Fashion Icon or Just a Weirdo?
Scientists have discovered a new species of squid that lived in the Cambrian era, about 500 million years ago. The squid, named Syllipsimopodi bideni, has a distinctive “hat” on its...
Startling Disclosure Emerges Regarding Essex University's Brutalist Architecture
A recent revelation, brought to light by an anonymous source, has cast an unexpected shadow over Essex University’s iconic Brutalist-style buildings. The whistleblower alleges that all concrete used in these...
Learning on the Waves: Closed Schools to Set Sail on Migrant Barges as Education Secretary Charts a Unique Course
In a groundbreaking move, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan has proposed a unique solution to the recent revelation that more than a hundred schools in England are plagued by buildings constructed...
Unusual Beach Encounter: Gimp Spotted on Jaywick's Shores Raises Eyebrows
In an incident that left beachgoers in Jaywick both perplexed and bewildered, an unexpected sight unfolded along the sandy shores – a mysterious “gimp” figure making an appearance. The peculiar...
Godsquad Preaching Against Colchester Pride
In a twist of divine absurdity, the “Godsquad” has taken it upon themselves to rain on Colchester’s Pride parade, preaching against the very celebration that embraces love, diversity, and acceptance....
Moped Muggers on the Rise in Colchester: The Polite Perplexity of a Growing Trend
In recent times, the tranquil streets of Colchester have become host to an unsettling phenomenon - the rise of moped gangs engaging in muggings and criminal activities. As our community...
Man Finds Tiny Dinosaur Poo in Clacton
A man walking his dog in Clacton, Essex, has found a tiny fossilised poo that is thought to be around 40 million years old. The coprolite, as it is known,...
Essex Police Close 18-Month 'Operation Doorstop': Unmasking Drug Delivery via Asda Drivers
In a landmark achievement, Essex Police have successfully concluded an exhaustive 18-month operation, aptly named “Operation Doorstop,” aimed at unravelling a complex web of drug delivery orchestrated through unsuspecting Asda...
Essex Pubs Charging Deposits on Ashtrays: A Travesty!
I am outraged by the recent decision of some Essex pubs to start charging patrons a deposit on ashtrays. This is nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to discourage people...
Brave Poundland Worker Thwarts Confectionery Heist in Colchester Store
In a scene that unfolded straight out of a movie, a quick-thinking Poundland employee became the unsuspecting hero when three individuals attempted to make off with an unusual and audacious...
A Rare Encounter: The Mysterious Crack Squirrel Spotted on St. John's Road, Clacton
Residents of St. John’s Road in Clacton-on-Sea were left both bewildered and intrigued when an unusual and rarely seen creature made a surprising appearance in their neighborhood. This rare sighting...
Unearthed Surprise: Local Bin Men Discover Landmine Mistaken for Frey Bentos Pie in Little Clacton
In a twist of events that left the usually routine task of garbage collection in Little Clacton fraught with surprise and tension, local bin men stumbled upon an unexpected and...
Plumbing Puzzler: A Decade-Long Pipe Predicament in Jaywick
In a baffling and alarming revelation, Jaywick residents are left outraged as it comes to light that the sewage and water system in the town has been running through the...
Fourth Mega Stash of Cocaine Washes Up on Clacton Beach: Essex Police Equally Baffled by Public Honesty and Sobriety
In an astonishing turn of events that has left both Essex Police and the public scratching their heads, Clacton beach has become an unlikely stage for an ongoing saga involving...
Frank Turner's Unplanned Encore: Singer Encounters Fun and Fiasco on Clacton Pier
The iconic Clacton Pier, known for its traditional seaside charm, took an unexpected turn when British singer-songwriter Frank Turner found himself at the center of an amusing yet somewhat chaotic...
Puppy Wheels: A Bizarre Bark-gain in Jaywick
In a rather disturbing and unsettling incident that left the community in shock, a peculiar trade attempt took place in Jaywick, involving innocent Labrador puppies being offered as currency for...
Coppergate: Jaywick Residents on High Alert as Gangs Target Homes for Copper Piping
In a concerning trend that has left Jaywick residents on edge, a spate of burglaries dubbed “Coppergate” has struck the town. Gangs of thieves are reportedly breaking into homes, specifically...
Category lifestyle
Venom: Unleashing the Lethal Elixir Taking Colchester Nightlife by Storm
Prepare yourself for a taste bud explosion as we dive into the enigmatic world of “Venom,” the daring cocktail that’s quickly becoming the talk of the town at the iconic...
Category politics
Jaywick Residents Shift Green: Farage Fallout Sparks Political U-Turn
A recent poll has revealed that one in four Jaywick residents are planning to vote for the Green Party in the upcoming 2024 UK general election. This dramatic shift comes...
Keegan's Next Big Move: Banning Mobile Phones in RAAC-Safe Schools
In a puzzling turn of events, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan has announced her next groundbreaking initiative: banning mobile phones in schools that were not affected by RAAC-based concrete. While the...
Learning on the Waves: Closed Schools to Set Sail on Migrant Barges as Education Secretary Charts a Unique Course
In a groundbreaking move, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan has proposed a unique solution to the recent revelation that more than a hundred schools in England are plagued by buildings constructed...
Category cost of living
Wilko in Colchester to Close After Rescue Deal Falls Through
The Wilko store on St John’s Walk in Colchester is to close after a rescue deal fell through. The store was one of 300 Wilko stores nationwide that were put...
Category business
EasyJet Owner Takes Easy to a Whole New Level. Files Patent for the Word Itself, Sues UK Band for Using Name
EasyJet’s owner, easyGroup, is taking its name very seriously. The company has filed a patent for the word “easy” itself in the United Kingdom. The patent application covers a wide...
Category household
Morrisons Daily in Jaywick Sells Woman Milk That's Due to Go Off the Next Day
In a shocking development, a woman in Jaywick, Essex, has bought milk from Morrisons Daily that was due to go off the next day. The woman, who has not been...
Category food
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